Smitty: The Godfather Poem by Alta Smith

Ol' smitty had nine lovely chickens,
And he treated each one like a pet.
But instead of eight or nine eggs a day,
One or two was all he could get.
So he petted and pampered and fed them with care,
And he managed to get three of four.
But no matter how much he spoiled them,
They just wouldn't lay anymore.
Well, it finally came to a showdown one night
And he marched firmly out to the barn,
Sat each chubby chicken up on her roost,
And proceeded to tell them this yarn.
"There's a serious problem I have to bring up,
We Must get this egg business clickin."
Please discuss the price of a good fresh egg,
As opposed to the price of fried chicken."
A deathly silence hung over the room
As he turned, and switched off the light.
One old hen fell to the floor in a faint
And she laid there half of the night.
But along about sun-up, smitty awoke
To a racket of cackling hens.
When he checked to see what the commotion's about,
Instead of nine eggs, there were ten!
So! the secret of good laying chickens,
So you don't operate at a loss,
Is make sure in the very beginning
They understand who is the boss.
Give them rest and plenty of sunshine,
And a nest for each one to use,
Give them all the food and water they want,
And an offer they can't refuse.