They ask me what you are to me
What do I say
Everything that they read in the air is more than I've portrayed it to be
But, whenever I think of you I go blank sinking
...
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You have the soul. That's the important bit. Now you have a duty to yourself to polish up your techniques and create more rhythm/assonance into your words. Discipline the metre of your lines. (And don't try too hard with the rhymes.) :) Hugznstuff
I like this poem :)