Something Fake.. Poem by Shannon Nicole

I can only think of so many ways to say this,
Only so many languages I am bound to learn.
I can only wish you a special evening,
Once or twice a year.
I can only say so much,
Within one hour at a time,
Without screwing up and ending the smiles.
I can only hope you look around and live in the moment,
Rather than be caught up on one thing I have said.
I can only see so much and I'm sorry I don't see through your smile,
I see through it,
I just am too afraid to question,
Because I am too afraid you'll flip out on me,
That you won't want to hear me anymore.
I hope I haven't ruined everything in your world,
Hopefully you can still live without me as a burden hanging on your shoulder.
I say things to make you happy,
But honestly,
I rather I didn't even get involved.
I look at you with a smile,
That is hanging by a thread and I'm just waiting for it to fall.
If you look through my eyes,
You'd see my real expression,
The frown I hide deep inside to keep you from questioning why I hide.
There's one day that I wish I could keep and name it mine,
I wish that I could plan it and keep it that way,
Just one day of the year is all I wish for,
Just one day to keep and name it mine