Standardized Tests Only Work On Standardized Brains Poem by Stephen Thomas

The words jumble into one
What once read so clearly:

“Three X squared parenthesis B minus two parenthesis X equals B when X equals four,
Solve for B”

Has just clumped to the center of the page.
Sucked in by supernatural mystery:
A new black hole…
Conveniently located at the center of my test booklet.

Twisting and morphing
The letters meld together –
“A perfect sphere! ”
Would escape my lips here,
However, I am to asphyxiated
On the fact that my test has just rolled off the page,
Bounced twice on the cheaply imitated oak
And gallivanted away before being absorbed
By the sickly-orange carpet that only the seventies own up too.

My eyes shift back to the blank white sheet in front of me
Then jut up to the front wall
Examining the ticking angel of death
Waiting to pass judgment on all who dare blaspheme the mathematical trinity:

The Algebra
The Geometry
And
The Holy Statistics

Oh yes,
I’m a heretic –
And I’ve made record time:
Two minutes in and my test has already ran aloof.