Stand-In Poem by catarina cardoso

they folded me small like a note you don't read
kept me close but quiet, like something you don't need
put me in their pocket, so I'd still be around
but i was just a shadow, not a voice, not a sound

they'd ask if I could come, but not if I wanted
talked like I'd say yes before I even responded
they called it friendship, but it felt more like a place
you visit when you're bored, not somewhere you stay

I learned to stay quiet when they made plans without me
smiling like it didn't sting, though I felt the edges bleed
like I was only part of the picture when the light was low
and even then, just the outline, no color, no glow

they check in like a habit, when no one's around,
act like I'm still standing on common ground,
say I'm okay, but the truth's out of tune,
and then it's too much, too sad, too soon.

they want the version of you
that doesn't need things,
just nods and smiles,
available but optional
like background noise
or a mirror they only look into
when their own face is too loud

they all put their names on a card I never got to open
a circle that grows smaller when it comes to my day
no party, no gathering, no candles to blow
it's not about the gifts or the things you show

when I was quiet,
when I was too much,
you made me feel like
I was finally enough