Michelle Freeman

Rookie - 19 Points (18 May 1978 / Barbados)

Stay - Poem by Michelle Freeman

I don’t want my life to die
And leave me hanging onto a
Thread of my existence once
Vibrant and free and colourful
Please don’t leave me! ! !
Please, don’t die.
This pain in my chest stabbing
Right here in my heart screaming
As my life slowly dies in agony

I don’t want my lie to die
And leave me holding a miserable
Thread that was once my life
Once alive and detached and joyful

Don’t leave me! ! !
Don’t die! ! !
This wrenching inside my chest
Deep down in my heart choking
As I cork them without air to die

I don’t want anything anymore
But my needs to feel love, give love,
Show love, accept love.
I don’t want anything anymore
But my needs to live, to be happy,
To be free, to cry, to get angry, to be just me! !

Please don’t die and leave me! ! ! !
Please! ! ! ! Please! ! ! ! Hear me! ! ! !
Don’t die! ! ! Don’t! ! ! ! !
Leave me.

I need
To be needed, heeded, heard, seen.
I need thee who writes
Who feels in pictures, in words.

But who art thou?
When will I see thee?
I need, I wish.

I don’t want my life to die

The rain is going to fall now
And just so, we’ll all die –
As if struck by black death
We’ll fall like dominoes
Writhe like worms
Scream unbearable pain
We, will, die.
How bad is it?
This heart break
This pain right here in my chest
I feel like dying
It hurts, it hurts so badly
My reflection is blurred,
Now perfect, now rippled
Now perfect again, now gone.

Just now the rain is going to fall
Like tears on my face, sweat on my brow.
Just now soon we will fall like trees
In monsoon then we writhe and
Scream until we lie still like death
Not hearing, not seeing, not
Feeling just death – like a stagnant pond

Inside I cry where no one sees
Where the pain that hurts
Remains in me, haunting
I cannot say or even tell
How I learned to hide so well.

Inside I am alone in darkness
When all see light
Inside the pain stabs –
When bleeding starts
I cannot fight.

I cry inside where no one sees
Where the pain hurts
Remains in me, lingering
I cannot tell or even say
How I lied to myself and made it stay.

Written on Wednesday,19th December 2007
Originally named “Untitled” changed to “Stay” on Thursday,19th August 2010

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 19, 2010

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