Suffocate Poem by Ellis Slater

I am walking through the halls, my breathing shallow.
Dangerous thoughts are tainting others' simple actions.
The only thing this shows is my overflowing callow;
Thoughts like to go for effect, causing overreactions.

People laugh watching my heart tear.
If I knew people did that, it would be easier to bear.
I am not shoved away, but I feel confined.
I cannot afford a break, for I will be left behind.

I'd rather give up instead of carrying false hope.
All actions ever do is complicate,
Everyone is only telling me ways to cope.
Instead, could I suffocate?

Music and writing stifle my aches and pains,
But in the end, it just covers it all.
Even if I shove it under my bed, it still remains.
For now, I will keep writing to stall.

With my issues, I really do not mean to tarry
I feel I keep writing the same thing, in different ways
Seemingly always give up, despite my artillery
This cycle has gone on for months, let alone days

Everyone is only telling me ways to cope
These emotions are deteriorating my mental state.
In the mirror, I see my body hanging from a rope
Now, could you just let me suffocate?

I know you love me and want me to thrive
But the state that I am in is precarious
And this country happens to be nefarious
The situational irony here is hilarious

Why am I not allowed to stop trying?
Why must you keep me in this routine?
While I am crying, you're sighing,
Locking away what ‘shouldn't' be seen

I am giving up, so you better come quick.
All people ever do is complicate,
Everyone always knew I was sick,
And now, I'll suffocate.