Talking Upon One's Self Upon A Resolution Of A Conflict Poem by RIC BASTASA

since i cannot hold you
i let myself go somewhere else
to hold another

there is no one like you
but i can always close my eyes
and find you
there

i can hold you as though you are mine
just that

even in my dream
even in the cheapest of my illusion
you dread me

death looks upon me and smiles
as though
i shall love it as though i can finally
find you
in those dark arms


i do not own my world
neither shall i conquer yours by force
i tend my own garden of sorrow
then
I'll make a gate where one may enter
I'll put a door
where i can be alone

i am also myself
my own faithful lover
without any
repulsion
without any condition

for i can be my own magical concoction
for i must live to claim a world of my own
alone and still be whole

happy and acceptable
upon my own terms and conditions