Tears Poem by Marissa Hollis

Never in my life
Did I think this would happen
to me.
My biggest fear,
comming true.

I watch the driveway
for two feet,
two legs,
two arms to show.
But instead I see
two shiny headlights
as he pulls away.

The pain I feel
rushes up and out.
Tears are streaming
down my cheeks.
Tears cleanse the soul
but leave the pain in my heart.
As the pit of my heardship
drives away
It takes part of me
with it,
leaving the rest to suffer.

I cannot hold it in any longer.
my emotions explode.
she sees.
the one we tuck into bed
every night.
i run.

She cannot see me in
such a state.
Not when everything is
supposed to be alright.
She follows.

Fear.
I can see it in her eyes.
It takes over her movements.
Just as saddness and
anger are taking over mine.
I need to be alone.

Fresh, hot tears
stream my fave, as I am
alone, finally.
I want him to come back.
For all of my pain to
cease.
But it does not.

Alone.
I try to call.
But i cannot make it past the
first ring.
A single vibrate,
and I know it's him.
Anger eruptures as I answer.
I can't do this.
His cheery voice shows that
this means nothing to him.
I hang up.

His voice is gone.
And I am once again
alone.
Outside alone.
wanting so badly to have
him back,
but also wanting to...

Love? That's what he says?
He loves me?
How?
How is that remotely possible?
A fresh set of tears
rush down my face,
and thats when it happends.

Two headlights,
in the driveway.
Ever since they had left
I had been waiting for them to return.
Now that they had,
I didn't know what to do.

Fear-striken
I return to the inside of my house and wait.
Wait to hear the creak of the door.
Hour long seconds pass and still no sign of him.
I creep to the door,
just in time to see
him.
standing there,
with a blank face.

Would this ever come to a close?
What do i want?
Questions.
Too many questions
lacking answers.
Why was this happening?
Finally it's time to speak.
For once, I have too much
to say.
He cares not.
Although he says he does.
When will he understand
that I am hurting all the time?
That I need help?
That he is who can help the most?

He will never understand
But I wish he would.
It is my wish everytime
that clock hits 11: 11

It's over.
I'm back in his arms once again.
Where everything feels
that much safer.

I am happy.
I am sad.
I am worried.
I am okay for the time being.

Our future is unclear.
But I know what I want.
I can tell he doesn't know
If I will be there down the road.
He might not want it.
But i want to be there.

Lets just wait and see where the wind blows us.
-moti 8-11-09