Tears Of Steel Poem by Darren Harris

I’m sat in bed in the dark,
And my eyes are trying to focus on things that aren’t there,
While crazy thoughts bounce around inside this cardboard head of mine,
Time after time,
It’s always the same,
Thoughts so illusive, deceptive and misleading,
Am I grieving?
Grieving for a childhood lost in a mass of emotions?
Emotions caused by abuse,
Like self-loathing, guilt and fear,
Fear that controls my life year after year,
And haunts this very lonely being,
Feelings of guilt from an innocent child,
With twisted memories he has compiled,
I loath what I see,
This is not how it was meant to be,
All these emotions,
There never forgiving,
They’ve only ever directed,
And they grew and grew until I was totally infected,
I’ve tried to fight them all, but I’m too small,
I’m too weak,
Why does my life have to be so bleak?
So callous?
Why does it make me feel the way I feel?
As I sit in the dark and cry my tears of steel,
A lonely being,
That’s how I feel,
As I sit and cry my tears of steel.