Telling Lies Poem by Roshana Phillips

So what, it's not a big deal
That- life and death
There's no way we can seal
Neither should one be shy
To say that we all tell lies
Be it big or small
Consciously or unconsciously
Some of us tell lies bountifully.

I tell lies
Not just the ones you can easily repent
Assumingly to protect myself,
Emotions-
But sleep and wake I never forget

I'm a walking stone
A rock or more like a wall
Tough than any dinosaur bone
I'm cold with all the lies I have to uphold
The only things genuine are my laughter's
Not always the smile
My happiness and emotions
I always hide.
With that mask of destruction
Society, church and my surroundings expect me to wear.
"I'm fine, ok, nothing bothers me"
I repeat in front of the mirror
As I stab myself with those words once more in shivers
Like a child wandered on another man's offshore.

Men see me naked
I'm often taken at first sexually
Before they can see me intellectually
So I play along
Thinking in my mind there's nothing wrong
Not wanting to see their cravings
For pleasures-I constantly hides
I'm human and I'm bound by lies.

I dwell in a house so far away from home
It's been a long time since I went there
Felt it- not even the clone.
How I desire to feel, to be so much at home.
But I'm that child who wanders on another man's offshore.

I have feelings
I continuously pretend not to feel
Like minced herbs
I'll kill any thoughts of another
And sink myself into pop songs
All because I can't stand that feeling of reject
So what?
We all cries
It's none new we all tell lies
Even when our hearth capsizes

Confined in me
I'm great in being secrecy
But to wait on me to do the same
It will never be
Because I missed the revision classes without a fuss
So I find it hard a soul to trust
"I'm fine good ok"
Ill stab myself once more
Wander the lonely offshore once more
Or better probably try?
But I'll continue to kill myself with those words
If you don't stop believing me
Because I'm human
And I tell deadly lies.