Thai Girls Do Playden Poem by Allison Riches

Thai Girls do Playden

There once was a brothel in Rye,
Opened by girls flown from Thai.
The neighbors would groan
When they heard the girls moan,
After dark the farmers passed by.

'We are renting an Oast outside Rye
Please come to our launch do tonight
When a friend you may bring
Join member listing
You qualify for discounts outright.'

'To experience the pleasures unknown
Join classes in groups or alone;
Introduce mates,
Receive reduced rates;
All of our skills are home grown.'

'Midweek book two get one free
There's reward card for use locally;
We market direct;
(Observer reject
Our advert despite guarantee.) '

'Received permission to build novelty room;
Employed sheep for farmers to groom;
Waiting list long
We got market here wrong,
So sheep off to Thailand very soon.'

'The employment of sheep application
Was full of serious complications;
We gave business a go
But really didn't know
The market was total deprivation.'

'After only six months of operation
No one interested in domination;
Preferring to swap wives
To satisfy sex lives;
So now we face liquidation.'

'We noticed a growth in children farm
Which filled us with shock and alarm;
It had never occurred
That people preferred
A family day out than Thai charm.'

Allison Riches, April 2007.