That Tomorrow Morning I Will Be No More Poem by RIC BASTASA

i am afraid i can no longer walk alone.
or fly alone
or be in bed alone,
no
matter how i try to
close my eyes
the heart beats faster
and my mind runs
berserk
like a mad man
trying to extricate itself from
a shadow on the wall
(which by logical
reasoning cannot
really exist)

i am afraid, my feet exist no more
my hands
are watery leaves
dissolving on the river

and so i write you a letter
that my trip to the island where i can be a lotus
is cancelled
indefinitely

even if i shall love death
as i once tell you
yet when it comes near me
with a scent
i shiver
even on the thought that tomorrow morning
i will
be no more