The Best Ex Friend Poem by Dan Brown

How dare you fight an argument, so unjustified to begin with,
with words that are not even your own.
How dare you search for ammunition in an area that you know
is strictly off limits.
How dare you call me the things which, over the years,
I have shown you, countless times, I am not.
You’re in front of me, hurling this abuse so freely.
Except you’re not.
There is a wall between us, a wall of fire, which makes you feel safe enough to launch this fabricated attack.
Were we face to face, you wouldn’t even look me in the eye,
let alone assassinate my character with the false ferocity you are displaying now.
You’re saying I’m the problem. Not you.
How can that be? When I am wise beyond my years,
and you are wise beneath yours?
I know what it takes to be a true friend, and I will offer that to those who deserve it.
You only know iciness, blandness and such a bitter lack of
enthusiasm for anything not concerning yourself, that you
resemble a greying old woman to a frightening degree.
You’re saying I think I’m “it”, and I’m not.
These words, coming from you, who, moments ago, made
yourself out to be superior to me, because you attend college.
You’re saying you don’t need me, and you can live without me.
Strong words for someone who has no-one else they can turn to,
to talk about their worries. Their fears.
Their deepest, darkest secret.
My shoulders have supported your tears more times
than they have supported my own, and my arms have enclosed you more than your own Mother’s.
I wish you luck in replacing that, in your world of friendships that exist only on casual “Hello’s”, and a relationship which is
every bit as false as the words you use to feed it.
You are, though, the best kind of ex friend.
The kind which are so adamant in their argument, despite it
being wrong, that it becomes easier and easier to dislike them.
The kind who are so convinced of their own righteousness, that
I cannot help but drift further and further from them.
And the kind who are stubborn enough to refuse to admit
they were wrong, and so,
in the belief that it is I who needs to apologise,
keep their own distance, without encouragement or asking.
And, in knowing that I will likely see you no more,
you become the best ex friend I could ask for.