The Coup De Grace Poem by creed reed

I meant no more to the saved for saving me
with all the things I have said and done
in this life and onto the next one
I never meant to ask for salvation
I never wanted to be caught between
all the humility and condemnation
something as simple as a thank you
doesn't quite do it justice
something as complicated as an essay
won't give thanks in the way
That i'd like it too say
but something should be said shouldn't it?
shouldn't it be said that I cared
shouldn't it be said that what was done for us
meant the world to me
but it's so damned complicated
I just can't quite find the words to say it.
I think about why I was so angry
with everyone and everything
all the talk of hatred for a part of me
that you'd rather not exist
but still it's so prevalent
that it can't be dismissed
It such a huge part of why i'm chip
and the final coup de grace of it is
that I still get to grow more and be happy
though I still look backwards and see
that I meant no more to the saved for saving me