The Day I Went Shopping (And Got More Than I Bargained For) Poem by jane solanrobertson

I can handle the problems of teething -
Put up with a tantrum or two
But when every mum's nightmare becomes reality,
What, my God, what do I do?
I've plucked him from the path of a tractor
I've saved my best china from falling
But no amount of sixth sense has prepared me
For what happens when nature comes calling.
I'm used to embarrassing moments,
They come part and parcel with Ben
But nothing compares to last Tuesday -
I daren't show my face there again.
I can still see those old ladies fainting;
I swear one old dear had to throw up -
Now everyone in town will be talking
Of the day Benny pooed in the Co-op.