The Decease Within - Poem by Mia Valdez
He whispers lies and laughs at my pain; promising more bliss and despair.
He looks with blood shot eyes, hungry for death and misery.
He is my pass to hell.
He keeps me caged, letting me see through my eyes but my screams silent.
He tells me we are one; he will always be there to help to drive those thought and problems away.
Without him I'm a sweating mess but with i wish to die.
I feel the dark growing, and pulling me under, deeper.
He tells me their cries are meaningless.
He keeps me warm.
He is my eyes when I'm away.
He guides me.
Leads my to me fury death disguise as power and will.
He makes me believe I have control.
'I love you, come closer. Let me hold your life in my hands.
I need you and you can't live without me.
They will never understand us! '
No! Leave, I don't want to believe!
Your cold grip burns but brings comfort.
Why? Why do I keep falling down this rabbit hole.
He teaches me the game.
He tells me what I want to hear.
He takes away my senses.
He drowns the truth and buries my conscience.
Every day he sucks my soul and kills my light and spirit.
I'm a shell of a man.
He doesn't let me see the man I use to be.
He let my brain leak happiness
My babies life pass by
How did they go from babies to growing kids
His misery grips my mind
He caresses my thoughts with false promises
I say no but my hand reached out to search for my release
My thoughts consume of HIM and what he stands for
This decease is twisting my thoughts and killing me
I go high but sink lower every time!
'don't think just do! Don't be soft, your fine the way you are! '
The comes back whispering truth and driving him farther in my mind.
Still shaking but haven't touched it
' you need me! ! ! ' he screams and bangs my head and vibrates my soul.
My hope grows and light lets me see.
Everything is brighter, I feel a laugh
He grabs my spine with his poisonis
No! I won't fall the light holds my heart and reminds me of all the things I've lost but can get back.
In time he grows smaller but still there.
I know he will never leave me but I won't let him win this war.
My battle wounds keep me strong and helps me remember what I don't want.
I have accepted that he is a part of me.
But he is not going to be all of me!
It's time to move on and live
In the end my life is reborn.
But he is there creeping waiting for my knees to grow weak and feed him.
I know we both know he is alive, waiting to be awoken to rain havoc on my life and bring misery.
But I have will and my light grows brighter.
I can still feel his breath for his lies but they are just a noise in my mind but they don't consume me.
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