Following one week
It was fairly fatigued, so It spoke:
'May there be one rotation of the globe
Devoted to meals out-of-doors, including fermented grapes and manna'
It collected a few mortal beings It had created
Invented quilts and reclined in patches of shadow
The creatures drank the fermented beverage slowly
And since the Holy One was present they made inquiries
Such as: is it necessary for You to ingest food
Or have the locks upon Your head trimmed?
Also, in this present course of being, if Your retina were to be stabbed
Would You retrieve it from Your spouse when You returned to Paradise?
The Deity slid Its feet forward and back while observing them all around;
The beings made raspy susurrations while boldly returning Its gaze.
Finally It replied: 'At one time there was a young man
Who awakened with indigo-coloured tresses
For him this was a most happy blessing
Until he hurried outside into the pleasant breeze
He pondered his peers visiting to observe his condition;
And would they chuckle, or had he come down with a plague?
The Deity slid Its feet forward and back while observing them all around;
The beings made raspy susurrations while boldly returning Its gaze.
The mortals attended upon their posteriors
Out upon their quilts in the cultivated space
However, the Deity remained quiet
So one of their number queried: 'My desire is your forgiveness, yet:
I am in some confusion regarding what You have said
Was that a fable, or are You, slyly, poking fun? '
The Deity slid Its feet forward and back while observing them all around;
The beings made raspy susurrations while boldly returning Its gaze.
8 years since my first visit: (I will not read all of my first comment) 'sursurration': 'A soft, whispering or rustling sound; a murmur.' It's another new word to me. ;) brI
Also, in this present course of being, if your retina were to be stabbed Would you retrieve it from your spouse when you returned to Paradise? ......after reading these two lines i hesitated, read them again, and then kind of laughed....a bit out loud, but not too loudly - - - - - - - - - - - i believe you've fallen into the much-fallen-into trap of putting an apostrophe in its when it does not belong there: The Deity slid It's feet..... an apostrophe is needed in the contraction it's/it is. now i've read more and see you avoided the trap not long afterward. - - - - - - - - - - - - Definition of SUSURRATION : a whispering sound: murmur ................this word is new to me! thanks. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I ALSO: I am in some confusion regarding what you have said, but i find this poem very amusing and cleverly done. it may lack a tiny bit here and there, but don't we all? ? ? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - my favorite lines from your poem may be: It collected a few mortal beings It had created Invented quilts and reclined in patches of shadow .....the second time i read them, i noticed invented and laughed again. :) - - - - - - - - - i liked that you capitalized It's and Its since you were referring to the God i used to believe in. what about the you in: Was that a fable, or are you, slyly, poking fun? ' i wonder if you deserves equal treatment. hmmmm? thanks for sharing. i shall send this to MyPoemList. i rarely look at the new poems list on the Home Page, but that is where i found this.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Was 'one of their number' desiring His 'forgiveness' for the one's lack of understanding of that which the Deity spoke? ? bri ;) It's mostly a rhetorical question. ?