The Devil's Dirty Deals Poem by Lauren Miller

Big Bad girl found herself in Hell
Sold her soul to the devil for a bitter bit of irony
Contract had fine print about selling off the rest of me
I guess I forgot to read
that
He started off small, selling off peices of me that I'd hardly notice
at all

First he sold my laughter to a dimw witted blonde
and my fire to a bum
That devil only got a bottle of half dranken rum
out of the deal
He's got me wondering why i ever even took a trip to his hell
He sold my beauty to a bitter boy that flickering flames scarred
He traded everlasting
for my happiness
Which he gave away to a bawling new mother

He hoisted the spirit right out of me
Sold it to a measly ghost locked up in the attic
TO make me an addicto who came back
to sell the devil himself a fat sack
To barter a deal to get my life back on track

While i waited in the lounge, that dirty devil came around
Tore my mind right out of my skull
As i sat there suddenly dazed, in a lull
Gave that brain to a burnout he cheated his way
into the national spelling bee
Gave my tears to a cheating wife who needed
a reason to keep her three kids
coming back
Took all of my heart and gave that part to a bitter boy, with every care in the world
Who's been top on the list since his sixth year

He kept my innocence too
and gave that to a girl engaged primarily to premarital sex
Who had her first two to make two seperate men stay
but they left

I went back to the devil for a refund
He just smirked and said
'You made your bed and that's where you'll lay
The devil cuts deals, never claimed they were even, no I never did say.'

So he went on, took my sanity
Gave that to a 6'10 in the jail cell, death row
Who can still detail perfectly his family
and how they each have indivual screams
Devil went back home and hung my picture in his 'Hall of Infamy'

That devious devil got me screwed in the head
So that i would commit as many sins as I could
before my end
So that when i got to heaven thinking
'Only God can save me.'
The devil cackled alone on his skeleton throne
While god silently handed me a not
that held a devil-sealed
'No.'

I stared down
and said
'Honey, I'll see you at home.'