Angelina Jolie pulled me down and kissed me slowly
As she ran her hands all over lucky me.
She whispered in my ear: ‘I want you naked, do you hear? ’
And then mutated as she spouted: ‘'ere’s yer tea! ’
Oh no, it was a dream, so very lucid and serene!
And me missus goes and wakes me just for this:
A bleedin’ cup of tea – yes I know, ungrateful me –
I should be thankful for my years of wedded bliss.
But this was Angelina, not a bowl of semolina –
We were getting hot and steamy on the sofa.
Her lips were all a’ pouting, ‘Angie, Angie! ’ I was shouting
And my hand was moving in to flippin’ grope her!
Now every night and every day, I would beg and cry and pray,
‘Angelina please come back – look just don’t quit.’
So did she? Don’t be daft! And my wife? Well she just laughed!
‘Cos every night she dreams she's bonking Bradley Pitt!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.