The Fall Poem by nigel colledge

The Fall

Someone mentioned 780 steps, that's a long way
Is that up or down? Either way it's to much for an old man
I am falling, it is total blackness, just into clear space
I wish I had my iPhone with me to light my way

I have bought some cheap carrots no one explained why
I am now in the pharmacy, there are new staff there
They do not recognise me, where is Rosie to help me
I think I am in love with Rosie, she says my name in a sexy way

I must have mis-heard, it must be 7,800 steps before splat
The carrots were the wrong ones - expensive ones required
I can fly! I just spread my arms, jump in the air and I'm off
Soaring through the clouds, now landing at Luton Airport.

Still no splat, maybe it was 78,000, was that what I climbed?
I'm getting worried now, am I actually falling or soaring?
There is no way of telling there is no reference point
It is so totally black, please someone show me the way

I am in a synagogue, not been in one before, they are friends
Must not realise I am a catholic in their midst not following
Sudden change of location to Jamaica, filming with James B
Sean Connery, not the later ones, location is so familiar.

Still no splat, or are the pearly gates about to welcome me
Not yet, there are two buxom beauties with silk gowns
Revealing the important bits, come and join us they say
With the last refrain of a snore I wake myself up, dam it.