The Kind Of Love That One Bears To The Grave.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

by now
you should have known that i have taken all the risks.

i have risked my own heart, my life, my career,
my family, all for love.

this is the kind of love that spells my death.
even my oblivion.

this is the kind of love which rejected words
which rejected the world.

all for you, i may be ostracized, or even be crucified.
all for you, i will become dust to the feet of all honorable people.

i have seen rejection in my youth, but this will be the worst ever.
the rats are playing their games in the ceiling, squeaking for my
incoming misfortune.

tomorrow will be different as soon as this matter is discovered.
it will be my Gethsemane tonight. Tomorrow morning will be the
beginning of my Calvary.

i have loved, I have not lost, i did not lose anything.
Not even a lock of my hair.

But having loved you, my world will be changed.
i will be myself, but i will not be the same again.

you will leave me and i will walk the streets of my sorrow.
i will be alone but i will be stronger by then.

there will be no words to describe this.
there will only be more poems to write.

something mysterious i think.
something unbearable, but something too light as my sigh

my feather, my hope, my touch to a leaf, my kiss to a flower.
my everlasting memory of you. And you everlasting indifference.