The Leicestershire Parson Poem by William Hutton

Tim and wife were harmonious when first they were wed,
As the sun and the moon are, or needle and thread;
But the first month expiring, a too common case,
His thread broke in two, and she wore a dark face.
Then our couple, when walking, or standing, or sitting,
Each other regal'd with their biting and spitting.
Whate'er was transacted or said by one side,
By the other, with malice afore-thought, was tried.
And the worst of constructions were brought forth to view,
When the word or the action would ever bear two.

It happen'd one evening, for wonders ne'er cease,
Our quarrelsome heroes were sitting at peace;
While the dog and the cat on the hearth-stone were lying,
Or amusing each other with innocent toying.

'What reason,' says Madam, 'my dear, can you see,
Why we, like these animals, may not agree?
For they never quarrel or fight for a feather.'
''Tis because they're quite free, and we're tied fast together.'