The Lord Helps Those That Help Themselves Poem by michael spangenberg

After seven years in a foul slammer
enabling Donnie to perfect the art of
the rip-off, he became a thief of sorts.

Ranning across a fireman, stealing their ladder
Ripping off policemen' cellphones and RayBan sunglasses was his favorite pastime.

As he stole the smile from my lover's face
eyeing on his dishonest ladyboy eyelashes.

When the prison's chef cooked his meals he was stealing his cookpots.

And he'd ran into a leopard, he would try and steal his spots.

When introduced to my friends as a gesture of affection, the minute my back was turned, he tried to rip off my conections.

He'd rip off your newspaper and 'borrow' your car
and I know if it was possible he would steal the moon and stars, and God's only son in heaven.

One day he was roasting a chicken, and since no one was looking, he had to steal a piece or two before it finished cooking.

When he milked a cow he'd try and steal its leather, and if he could catch a bird, he would try and steal its feathers.

If he gave you something it was really just a 'lend'
because he couldnt wait to steal it back again.

Next he robbed a cowboy for his saddle and his spurs, you would think he would no better than to touch what isnt his.

He didnt really need things, of gizmos and gadgets, obedient wife, rich in-Law father
Donnie had enough, it was just that he was addicted to taking other's stuff.

This robber really got me ill intentions from the start, the day I let him in the office was the day he stole corporate SeaQuation's heart.

Its really not his fault and I should have known better, he stole my pen and notebook or I would write him a nasty goodbye letter.

Footnote - Credit to where credit's due, this is a rewrite of the charming poem 'Rip Offs' by Joeinthebox, Los Angeles, January 10,2017.