The Man Poem by Lors Dilouley

i thought he was silly
and shifty and small.
not worth the effort,
too skinny, too tall.

i told myself once,
i told you all twice:
'it isn't an option,
we'll never be more.'
i reasoned, i justified
convinced to my core.

He tried and he tried,
while i looked away.
i can't let him see me.
'Lord, please let her see me.'

i spoke with Him about the boy:
'God, i don't want him.
what he offers, just not enough for me.
i am woman, but he's not a man.'

God's Words they came clear:
'DO WHAT I TELL you.
OBEY WHAT you HEAR.
he IS WHAT I TELL you.
he's MORE THAN you KNOW.

he's MY SON, MY CREATION.
I KNOW WHO he IS.
I KNOW WHO I CREATED you FOR, MY DAUGHTER.
AND IF IT'S FOR him,
you MUST OBEY WHAT I SAY.'

i swallowed my tears,
crawled onto my face:
'oh Lord, i love You.
take my heart and give it away
to the man of Your choosing,
Your son, who You made in the shape of my heart.
and if it is him,
then obey is what i must do.
for how can i deny
You?

he came along once more.
this time i opened.
'is that my heart flying to-
Lord, that's that which i gave You-'
'quiet My child.
watch how much i love you.
rest awhile. trust.'
into his hands it flew.

the Lover of my soul
has entrusted it to him.
to test him? to try him?
to see if he'll return it whole?

i watch in curiosity
as he, no longer a boy,
grasps it gently
with utter fragility...

he looks at it cautiously,
not sure what to do,
and offers a prayer
over that which he holds.

i hear his crumpled cry:
'oh God, please help me.
i am just a boy.
i cannot be entrusted
with such a precious gift
as that which i now possess.
please take mine in replacement.
do with it as You will.

but what do You will?
i shall give it back
undamaged, unharmed,
and remain without her if Your will.

You know, our Father,
i will be cut, i will be burned
before i let this heart be touched by another.
just say the word and i will release it.
but if it fits mine, may i keep it? '