The Night Of Insanity Poem by Shahista swellam

I wonder alone, but not lonely, in a dark silent night 
Trying to control a devastating huger that I cannot fight
I look up and see the moon full and shining bright
Covering the doomed Earth with its sparkling silvery light
Tonight, as every other day, I ‘ll seek a human I shall fright
For my favorite scent, with my fangs I’ll tenderly slowly bite
Searching for a pre.Suddenly my legs got rooted where it is&stand still,
Again, as if nothing has happened, I’m mesmerized by his charm against my will 
I, who is known to be Strong headed, Heartless and so powerful,
For that mystical hurting weird moment I am really grateful 
I find myself time traveling back 1000 years ago to my past,
Reliving a hurting story with precious love that couldn’t last
He was my man, the one who captured my love and soul,
Yet, he walked away and left my heart with a bleeding non healing hole
He asked, and I agreed, to change me into this bloody creature,
Because that’s the way he is, I really did like my new nature
I endured, but his absence, all the pain, sorrow and torture,
For him, I only have a scare and a contradicting picture.
Of a great handsome passionate real but rare gentleman,
That gave me all the love in the world that he can.
And a selfish monster that left me behind without even a reason,
In my world, where love prevailed, that’s what’s called treason.
Back to my present, there he stands at me starring,
I want to turn..run away…hide myself and be disappearing.
Instead a strong deep sensation of hope and fear,
As if by the magic of love, I was to him drawn near.
There again we are standing face to face, eyes in eyes
Trembling, shivering as in my stomach I develop butterflies.
But after the long starring, and the only words of “hi” and “hello”,
He looks down then up into my eyes and bitterly says: “I have to go”
I wanted him to stay but in a blink of an eye he disappeared into thin air,
Oh damn it! Am I being left behind again? ? ! That isn’t fair
I’m laughing, laughing so hard that in my stomach I can feel ache
Losing balance, that not even one breath I can take
Still laughing in a non-stop way, and tears roll down my cheeks,
Why not surrender to the pain and let despair, for my soul seeks
Desperately, as the tears of happiness units with those of sadness,
I get lost in between and I know for sure that I reached madness.
My screams, in such a silent dark night, rings higher,
And I discover that after all nostalgia isn’t just a seductive lair 
For a weak in heart, strong in power creature like me,
It’s a death spell that neither my victims nor myself can from it flee
No blame on a vampire being selfish As my victims will be shown my insanity
They’ll terribly suffer, cry out of pain loud and have my same destiny 
I cant apologize cause I guess that’s who I really am,
As I walk I embrace my soul that forever I’ll never damn.