The Rapper (Rap Song) Poem by Bill Simmons

I love a good rap like any poor sap
But let me tell you so
You got a hot date don't let your mama take
When it comes the time to go

I went with mama down to Levine’s
Man I hate that scene
But I had no luck had to give it up
I needed a new pair of jeans

Well I thought it would be cool
I’ll hurry and wont be slow
And maybe if I’m fast enough
Still get to that picture show

We walked in and every things all right
But then my heart just fell
There it was and mama saw it
A three dollar clearance sale

I said Aw mama we got to go
Don’t forget my picture show
She said Get your jeans, going to look at these things
I’ll hurry and then we’ll go

You ever follow your mama in
They change when they find those things
Unless your on that rack they not coming back
They different a whole new being

So I get my jeans said Mama let’s go
I can still make that picture show
But there she was trying every thing on
I said Aw mama.......No!

Mama said How do I look in this
I said Mama it make you fat
For goodness sake my first mistake
But you sure look good in that hat

Right then I knew I was the stupid one
For me it wouldn’t be fun
Now she was trying to find a skinny dress
I knew that couldn’t be done

Finally she slipped right in
This red thing she put on
I looked at the clock said Mama you’re hot
Can we now get moving on

She said All right and she paid the man
Then we both we stepped outside
And I tell you it wasn’t easy
I fought hard to just not cry

But there we were with my broken heart
As I thought What The Hell!
On either side and as far as could see...
A damn sidewalk sale!