The Spin Doctor's Daughter - Poem by Rawdon CROZIER
The Spin-Doctor saw his little daughter
Trip and fall into the water.
The bank was steep, she couldn't swim,
Her end was looking near and grim.
He sat himself upon the brink
As the little girl began to sink
And now he judged the time propitious
(While she was playing with the fishes)
To tell her things she ought to know
(Her little head sank very low) :
'The dog is dead, the cat is ill,
Your hamster's lying strangely still'
He paused and checked with condescension
Not-drowning still held her attention.
He thought the chance was Heaven-sent
To save them both embarrassment
So, with her locked in watery strife,
He expounded on the facts of life
And even, without circumspection,
On boys and sex and contraception,
With flailing limbs, and luck, and more,
His daughter spluttered to the shore.
The Spin Doctor now, his talk complete,
The bedraggled girl helped to her feet.
Well pleased, though less at her salvation,
Than with his well-timed gift of information
But, sensing her in need of cheer,
He addressed her thus, he said “My dear,
it will be fun, you'll find this week
the pets are playing hide and seek
and Dog and Hamster are so clever,
they may stay hid away for ever”.
'My dear' he said 'though I know not when,
One day we'll talk like this again'.
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