The Ugly Truth Poem by nicole feltes

i have been ruined, thrown around like a doll
i have been stepped on, beaten untill i couldn't stand
you only know my good story but you wanted to know more
i have been ruined by the likes of all of you
your words cut me like glass, your hits felt like snow falling
you used me untill i couldnt stand or untill i fell into a deep slumber
i have been ruined by you, I let it happen
you said all these words of hate and love and confused my soul
i cried everynight trying to forget your touches of hate, of punishment
being born is what brought me to this happening to such sadness
i have been ruined by so many, I couldnt take it it had to stop!
i have been beaten, the cuts, the bruises did not hurt me no more
i fought back and only got hurt worse, broken bones, bleeding everywhere
hearing the sirens i still shudder how many times was it, i can't even remember
i woke in a silent cold room white and machines was all that i heard
alone in this world i felt, i even woke alone all those times where was she
she didn't believe me shamed me called me a liar she left me all alone!
her blood, her voice, the mear resemblence in are face and she shuns me
me! i was disgusted, hurt, pained i felt nothing but the emptyness i was alone
walking through this world alone, feeling nothing i was a cruel being, just like you
i hurt people like they hurt me, i cried no tears of emotions but of nothing
i walked lonely, fearing the time where i would not be alone was that possible?
i hated everyone, i hated everything i ruined myself by opening my mouth
i cursed myself, i hated everything and everyone but i hated me the most why!
you ruined the very depth of my sanity stole it and tore it till there was no more
i ask myself why i blamed me but not you, was i not the child you wanted
was i not good enough, was i not talented enough, i would try harder why not me
you shunned me left me for the wolves to get and i survived!
is that why you want me back to build me up to break me down once more
have you not hurt me enough, leaving me alone why choose him over me
mom why.......