The Way It Was Poem by Shelby Jasmin Estrada

The words I want to say
The things I long to whisper
Into your ear
They are no longer there
The look in your eyes has faded
The way you used to mumble my name is gone
The love you had
The heart I loved
Is no more there
It is gone
Where has it disappeared to?
I want to know
So then I can tell you how I feel
I want you to feel the way I feel
I want you to love me again
To touch me like you did
To play your song once again
For me
Only me
I want to hear those sweet words again
Please tell me
Why you ignore me
Why you no longer look at me
I want to know
The way you used to kiss me
The tears you used to wipe away
Now fall from my cheek to my hands
Your fingers no longer feel my smooth skin
Your smell does not linger on me anymore
I want to feel the way your lips used to feel on the back of my neck
Your breath along my hand when we first met, about to kiss it, still lingers in slow motion
Making me scared
I am still scared to tell you how I feel
Just because I know you don’t feel the same
You only felt that way in the beginning
Because you had to
Just for you
No one else
Can you make up your mind?
Please?
I always hear your voice calling me when I want you
When I’m in the park
Or in the ocean
The breeze from the trees
The flowers in my garden
It makes me cry
But one thing is wrong
You aren’t there to wipe away the tears
Like you used to
Every time I try to write you my feelings
The words don’t come out right
They are wrong
Because my feelings are confused
Can you tell me why?
I want to know
Why my heart always stops at the sound of your voice?
It’s like I’m dying because I’m in love with you
It doesn’t help
It makes everything worse
Because u know you aren’t going to come back into my life
The tears on my paper are not because I don’t love you anymore
I’m crying because you don’t love me
It hurts to say that
But it’s true
The birds don’t sing the same song
The songs seem more slow and sad
They are no longer love songs
They are sad songs
Depressing songs
You are not in my life
The pianos do not play beautiful
They play sad, drastic songs
That makes me more and more unhappy
The ring I used to wear now lies in the box
Waiting
To be disposed of
For you to take it back some day
You do not love me
I know that now