Thinking About You Poem by Hilary Gerald

I'm just thinking about you
I hate you but I love you
Maybe I didn't see you immediately
Maybe I did, but I don't think I truly saw you
I should start from the beginning
No need to hold back because you would never read this

There was a time quite long ago
When I barely knew anyone nor anywhere
You seemed like everything
No, you seemed like anything
I don't think I could describe some thing in comparison
The stars, the seas or a lush forest
I don't even think crushes are supposed to work like that

I remember watching every movie you enjoyed and secretly hating anyone who ruined your forever cheerful mood
If you walked away, I wouldn't even move Because I awed at everything you did and any little movement you made
I know you blushed when you were frustrated and you have a dimple on your left cheek which gleamed when you smiled

Never have I seen someone so frustrated because of the wrong Ice cream flavor
It doesn't matter now, does it?
I want to say that I could have been better for you
But I don't hate myself that much


I was so sick of changing myself so you would like me more
What if I'm someone that I dont want around
Trying to be everything you would want
I felt ashamed that I could care so much about someone
When I rarely gave regards to myself
But I kept quiet about it, all so I could keep you
What am I now? ?


I guess love is truly strange
Because days seemed too little to see your face
But that was when everything began to go wrong
I found myself justifying your faults
Forgetting that there were just some things that could not be changed about a person

But I remember when you were going down to your worst and I was happily doing it with you
And now if anyone asks me about you, I will say that I hate you with a smile on my face.

But I'm happy you found someone more exciting and I hope he is enough for you
Though it took you just two weeks, you look really good together anyway
I'm relieved that we weren't that special Because I don't know what I would do when I had to let you go
You broke my heart but I think you broke so much more
I think I just want everything to be how it was before I started feeling used and discarded

The worst part is that you actually did nothing wrong
I can't blame you for moving on despite my selfish reasons
I wish I thought it through before I fell in love with you
Though I pray you never find someone better than me
Maybe we all just seek perfection in one way or another, but you are still a traitor.

Not your property anymore