This Is Not What I Have Chosen Poem by Aryk Ricora

I want to tell what is inside of me
But that is not what I have chosen
There are years of my life being taken from me
And I scream, waiting for a response from the past
I am in a psychological state and it does not end
I hate myself unintentionally
I search for what was, when I am vanished
Who will lift you up if the world destroys you?
There are no steps, but I walk on mistakes
These events signal did not pass in front of me
At the moment of your brokenness, the universe remains empty
I am in a war that does not end with my victory
Am I satisfied with what I am with? A question of my life that I have been wondering with
Everything happens in nothing
If I had a day left
If I have an hour left, I'll walk and keep going
I am acting in a scene, I am the narrow line between the halves
I am a year in the dark, and a minute in the light
I am running out of time
But I keep it in my heart, and my brain does not speak or say
I wish I was not silent
This is not what I chose
This is not what I have chosen.