Rookie (June 9,1983 / Jersey City, NJ)

Thoughts - Poem by SARAH A. STRUSZCZYK

Confusion running through my mind; cant describe the way I feel
Trying not to lose what I find, I hold on to what used to be real
Don’t know whom to trust anymore, who says the truth and the lies
Can’t even trust myself no more, especially with guys
I hate not knowing what’s to come; anticipation is killing me inside
Maybe I came this far with intentions to run; or even intentions to hide.
So tired of worrying and giving a fuk; but its hard for me not to care
With all this drama going on I feel stuck; it’s like a trap for me to stay there
You want things to go back to the start; the way things were all so new
But that would never change the hurt I feel in my heart; after all the bullshit you put me through.
Now all I hear is how I’ve changed and how it seems like I’m just not me
It’s funny how you forget the things I’ve done how I stood by your side repeatedly
I never thought we’d end like this, but its true yet sad we’re done
I can’t see myself with you; and right now at this point anyone.
God give me the courage the strength to move forward; I feel so weak
I’m living each day like a zombie walking but dead inside refusing to speak

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Poem Submitted: Monday, August 22, 2005

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