To My Ex-Wife, Baby Momma, Now Future Wife To Be Poem by Andrew Degen

I know its there, I can see it
It's small, but it shows at times.
That little scar on your heart
right next to the memory of our first date,
as we played cards for hours and talked about everything that we could.
The laughs
The smiles
the glisten in your eyes
its faded sometimes,
like a 1930's Charlie Chaplin film
where you brush it off and say 'Oh Well'.
Like its just another punch on the emotional punching bag you became because of me.
Like it's only a piece to a puzzle your solving.
While I was busy tearing your soul apart, creating hell on earth for you.
I was living a paradise,
I chose to to come and go...
You chose to be a mother
A rock to our son
Left to deal with my misconceptions,
my wrongdoings,
my mistakes.... mine....
and why? ...
for what? ...
love?
Sure....
I gave you a life that became partly a prison.
No escape
A prison where the only enjoyment came from the frequent distraction of giggles and coos
a son that looks like me.
an epitome of cuteness called Aaron...
I know you love him
it's obvious always
but with that love comes the memories,
it does for me anyways, not always, but sometimes
mainly when he tells me not to ever leave him again,
that he missed me and asks what happened,
and I have to hold back the tears and tell him that Mommy and Daddy just felt they were better friends at that time.
But what I really want to say is that Daddy was a liar, and a cheater.
He hurt your Mommy but they are working on making it better every day.
I would tell him that things are better now..
That Daddy isn't going anywhere anymore.
and Daddy won't leave ever again.
And I know we've talked about it
but sometimes wounds re-open
the blood that trails
gives off the fresh scent of emotions that came with that scar
and everything creeps out
and it kills me
cause I know it gets to you sometimes you but you won't admit it,
I don't know if that's too yourself or to me,
but it doesn't matter...
I will say sorry for forever
if it means that little scar stays closed