Boston Kelley
Fayetteville, Arkansas
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Too Far Am I

Too far am I from you, Lord my God;
the span between us is greater than the largest canyon.
My eyes have been opened and my heart convicted
as I see my true self in this reflection.
Your love, reach me it does not;
Your joy, within me it resides not;
Your holiness, living out I do not;
I am left as this pitiful, suffering being.
Within this dark valley lie many temptations;
their voices echo all around me.
I turn this way and that, staring into the faces
of my darkest desires.
The shadow of my former self attempts to guide me,
yet his words cannot reach my ears; they are but
sand that is carried by the wind.
Try as I might, to climb from this blackened realm,
I tumble back to the lowly ground.
My strength fails me and weariness becomes my sole
companion; the night comes out and the temptations
steal my might.
How could I have come here? Where did my feet take me?
Those pleasant meadows I once walked in I recall
for the sun would shine its brightest each day.
The dark valley surrounds with blackness
as every worst thought becomes reality.
Here, I see the most immoral aspects of my nature;
I am frightened by these unknown secrets.
My God, so great is my struggle and greater my wrestle
that I have been brought here; my heart yearns for peace,
yet looks not to you.
This fragile soul clings to temporary joy, only to shatter
when it leaves.
I have sunk to the bottom of misery's sea; it has bounded
me with chains at the bottom.
Bring me back to you for I am at my end; take me back
so I can stand on solid ground.
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