Torment Poem by Kat 'Happy Girl' Happy

How long before I screw it up again?
And throw myself into this pain
Go too fast, get in too deep,
I'm in the dark, but I can't sleep
It's like he's tormenting me

I really thought I'd gotten over this
Escaped this dark and twisted bliss
Thought I'd lost him in the mess of my head
A time I thought I'd be better off dead
But he's still here
He's the wind that whispers in my ear

Was I ever really better?
Or will he be haunting me forever?
I truly thought he'd gone away
But now it seems he's here to stay
I'm addicted to him, his love, his pain
Got back on the crazy train

Stuck now, can't go back
This train's headed off the track
I'm tangled in this Beautiful disaster
And I'm scared theres nothing after
Will I always play the host
Of this sweet intoxicating ghost?

Feeling so alive, its killing me
When will my love finally see?
Under lock and key, I've kept my heart
But it still tears me apart
Knowing she wants him and I can't share
Even if they make a better pair