Train To Nowhere Poem by Maverick Jones

I feel like I'm stuck, that I'm in a deep rut, and I can't escape no matter what.
My chest is tight as the pressure at the bottom of the darkness ocean,
my mind is working in slow motion,
What is happening to me?
Did my demon finally find the skeleton key and break free?

My heart is heavy for no reason,
like I did an act of treason.
But I'm not a rebel without a cause,
even if I can read between the laws.
I can; t eat or sleep,
I even spend hours counting sheep
Only getting out of bed looking like a creep.

How can I be positive when all my thoughts are negative?
I can't get out of the hole I'm in,
my mind is in a serious tailspin.
I can't tell what is real or fake,
I wish I can just get rid of this heart ache.

But it is to heavy to just drop the pain and run,
I need to find a grip before my fingers find a gun.
I can't be in the dark forever,
Guess its time to get clever.
I have to learn to hide the pain from the outside world,
and bury it all in dreamworld.

My friends won't understand what I am going through,
hell I don't even know,
I feel like I am an old shadow.
Just standing there with no life,
the only sign of me in my signature pocket knife.

This isn't right I usually put up a strong fight,
and now my light isn't so bright.
I don't want to stay here,
this can; t be were I shed my last tear.

No, I need to end this crazy ride,
I can; t sit here and hide,
I need to start piecing back together my pride.
Staying strong is what keeps me alive,
it's the only thing I need to survive.

The voices in my head are getting very dark,
I'm starting to lose my spark,
what happen to all my smart stupid remarks?

Are they gone forever or waiting for me to get my stuff together?
It doesn't matter I'll fight my way through this nasty stormy weather.
With every step grows a new pain,
slowly slipping back to being insane,
this could be my last campaign,
I can't keep explaining all these blood stains,
the storm in my head is stronger than any hurricane,
that holds only icy cold rain,
this punishment is very inhumane,
my body can't go on just pack my back and load me on the train,
maybe I can break through my chain.

Only to find the train is worse than before,
many passengers show signs of war,
I sit down on the hot metal floor,
listening to the engine roar,
we zoom down the eerily tracks like a meteor,
the pain can no longer be ignore,
and I'll remain here waiting on heavens door,
because I can't take it anymore.

October.28,2013