Translations For Safin Junayed Rouf Poem by Xiao Kang

first love


'I can't do this anymore, ' she exclaimed
As she walked out the doorway
Never to return or show her face
Those were the last words she ever said

What should I do? What happens next?
All these thoughts raced through my head
As past memories came from the dead
I stared blankly not knowing what else to expect

I saw her belongings scattered around
All placed in their assigned spot
But now no more to be sought
I looked around for something to pound

First love gives you the strongest kick
Causing you to do some unusual things
We believe ourselves to be immune to pain
But love makes us feel it over and over again

First love is something that never truly fades
It's memories, in your mind, forever etched
All those events continuously replayed
A renewal of companionship, something farfetched

This betrayal brought out a different being
Something that I couldn't control
Something that couldn't be intervened
I lay helpless as it slowly ripped out my soul

In the end I've become an empty shell
Walking aimlessly in this living hell
My trust in love now in eternal doubt
Life is now something from which I'd like an out


初恋
translation: Xiaokang Ma

“我受够了！”
她边吼着边走出门
没有回头更没有留恋
这是她留给我的最后一句话

怎么办？将来又会怎样？
思绪在脑海乱撞一气
那些关于死亡的记忆
令我目视前方却心中惘然

她的东西散落一地
我将它们全部收拢
现在却无处寻找
我想找些什么，砸烂它！

初恋狠狠地伤害了你
甚至行为都变得反常
我们自以为不会感到疼痛
但爱情一次次地将我们割伤

她的辜负彻底改变了我
有些事，我无法掌控
有些事，我无力调停
我无助地躺下，灵魂被慢慢撕碎

最终，我变成一副空皮囊
漫无目的地行走在人间炼狱
曾对爱的真挚变成永久的怀疑
如今，我最想逃离的，是生活


Never to betray

Tears of blood escaped my eyes
As I slowly fell, waiting for my demise
My vision blurred by the vibrant sun
I'm overwhelmed by the sins I've done

I watched him try many a times
Reverently trying to cross boundaries
Us humans have been assigned
But to no avail were my cries

I begged and begged for him to cease
To rethink his thoughts on humanity
But all he did was stare into my eyes
And offer me glory that I couldn't deny

Hidden in the shadows, I reluctantly complied
Never hindering from the orders I was assigned
For that was the destiny that had fallen upon me
And I accepted this, as hard as it had been

My one and only oath was never to betray
And to end any who wished to disobey
Even if it may be my one and only friend
I will not thwart from the path I've been given

In the end the choice proved too severe
I was unable to carry out or persevere
My task was to kill all those who betrayed
But instead my friendship made me hesitate

In the end I carried only one regret
As I slowly descended onto my shallow grave
It was a burden I now had to carry eternally
As death became my only true escape
From the fact that I knew about it all
But chose to do nothing and instead die for no cause.


永不背叛

血泪夺眶而出
缓缓落下，等待消逝
炎日灼痛我的双眼
我在罪孽中沉溺

我曾见他一次次尝试
满怀敬意地突破极限
可我们注定是人
拼光泪水也无济于事

我乞求，乞求他停下来
像人一样去思考
但他只是凝视着我的眼睛
并给我无法拒绝的荣耀

身藏暗处，我极不情愿
我从未辱没自己的职责
只因这是命运的安排
我只能接受，全力接受！

永不背叛，唯一的誓言
并杀死任何违抗者
哪怕是我唯一的朋友
我也不会改变我的道路

最后的选择太严峻了
我已无力继续支撑
我要杀死所有背叛者
但面对友情我开始犹豫

最后我带着唯一的遗憾
随着我慢慢走进坟墓
这变成了一个永恒的负担
死亡成了我唯一的解脱
因为我知道所有真相
却什么也不做，而选择以死百了



A lonely life is what I lead
With no goals to achieve
It is one filled with mediocrity
A life signified by it's modesty

I walk this earth unwillingly
Carrying a load forced upon me
It's wieght something I can bear no more
I search the earth for one last score

Anything to make me feel complete
But fate has only provided me with a backseat
To a journey that will hopefully provide a cure
To reduce the constant pain I have to endure

From time to time I find myself
Curled up and wallowing in regret
I start to think of all my past mistakes
How everynight it makes my heart ache

Love is what had lead me astray
From a path that was far more gray
Now I have no middle ground to fall upon
All I have is myself to hinge on

As I scour the wolrd, far and near
I look for that one chief thing
To help me bear all my suffering
But ironically it is my darkest fear

I now stand with a choice to make
Whether to accept or refuse
A decision I can never retake
And one that I mustn't abuse in an way

Wrong and right now look the same
No longer can I differenciate
But I still happen to believe in myself
And that I made the right choice




我过着孤独的生活
没有目标没有理想
是充满了平庸
被标记为朴实的生活

我不情愿地来到这世上
背负着强加的重担
这重量令我无法忍受
我寻找着地球的最后一分

没有事情能让我觉得完美
但命运只给了我一个次等后座
但愿旅行能给我疗伤
减少我持续不断的痛苦

我时不时地发现
自己沉浸并蜷缩在悔恨中
我开始反思自己的过错
为什么每夜都心痛如焚

爱让我误入迷途
带进一条充满灰暗的道路
如今我已没有回旋余地
我只有自己回头

随着我四处搜索，远处和近处的
寻找着一个重要的东西
它能帮助我忍受任何痛苦
讽刺的是，那是我藏在黑暗中的恐惧

如今我面临着抉择
接受 还是 拒绝
一个无法反悔的决定
不容儿戏的决议

对还是错如今都一样
我不再去计较
我坚持相信自己
相信我正确的抉择