Troubled Poem by Amber Leigh

This poem i write,
Is hard to write out,
Too many things,  
To complain about,
Everything all started,
With someone involved,
In the fate of a relationship,
Not ready to absolve,
The man i loved,  
Fell out of love with me,
All because the innocence,
That someone had handy,
Forgiven,
Not forgotten,
Engraved in his heart,
Ready to believe,
To end the start,
Why?
Anger towards this someone,
Built up in time,  
Friendship made harder,
Guilt grows in I,
One night out,  
Now never again,
All because,  
Of a supposed friend,
'You should do it :) '
I took like a fool,
Went through with a plan,
I knew would hurt you,
Ignorance?
Yes,
Stupidity?
Why not?
I'm now officially everything,
You should have forgot,
But you want me still,
Yet no second chance,
I know i'll screw up,
All over again,
Because everything i want,
Is disapproved,
By everyone and anyone,
I am not at all moved,
Not happy with myself,
Personality and decisions,
Everything's wrong,
Because of this ignorance,
I WILL take the blame,
It's been natural to me,
Proven my fault or not,
I'm willing to be,
The hero,
The villian,
Whatever you want,
A puppet mentally,
My freedom is gone,
Taken over by fear,
By the probable fun,
Hurt and destroyed,
The heart of my love,
Love i dont deserve,
Yet confused to feel sorrow,
Feel i did nothing wrong,
And yet i can't say so,
I wasn't not going to say,
The truth I feared to speak,
Because of that supposed friend,
Made me randomly weak,
What a great surprise,
He's 'too good to be played',
Yet you said i could,
Go anyway,
I'm not a cheater,
I have no intention to be,
'he's just a friend'
You couldn't believe,
Loss of trust,
Too lazy to get back,
Because i just want to sleep,
And never come back,
It's all just a dream,
I hoped it would be,
No need to feel,
This pain inside we,
Share together,
All the cards,
We thought we had,
Nobody should win,
This useless battle is just sad,
'Friends don't do this'
'you practically cheated'
Sorrow and guilt,
To make one feel defeated,
Everyone's different,
Beliefs not the same,
Whatever the matter,
Someone will be to blame,
I cant face a fear,
I never knew i had,
Embarassed to face,
His mom and dad,
It should just be over,
I've given up,
I can't win,
All the pain i cause,
Feels like a sin,
But i deserve it,
I started it all,
Now i'm finishing it,
Cause i'm strong,
Breaking up is for the weak,
And i'm not about to fall.