Trying To Hold On Poem by Ninja Soul

I'm sorry, baby.
I know you don't like it,
when I'm hurting.
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm trying for you,
my friends and my family.
It's hard.
I'm just breaking down.
I can't seem to find my control.
The monster inside of me,
is fighting me.
That monster is in the lead.
I'm trying to hold on.
I know I got you.
And I try to hold on to that.
You are getting to see,
the dark side of me.
The dark side that always,
always returns...
Baby, it never fails.
I always end up in a breakdown.
That's when the cutting starts back.
When I've had too much that I can't handle.
I'm doing my best.
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm failing and I'm falling.
Hard.
Nothing is right inside.
Inside of me.
I hate that you're seeing me.
This way.
I hoped you wouldn't ever see that.
I'm sorry you are seeing that.
But...
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm losing my grip.