Under The Plaza Poem by Windsor Guadalupe Jr

Under the arms of the plaza,
I stood there, lifeless
Stating silently: I could not want you any less.
The night greeted me wryly.

All hope has left, escaping my surface,
Circling around me, with memories encompassing
Time, precious time I have lost
Inside your eyes of glimmering sequins

I situated myself across the roof beams
Motionless, resembling the pillar beside me
Or perhaps, empty like the sky
No clouds were dancing, the moon sparkling faintly.

I surveyed the streets with my flickering eyes,
And decided to cross the street, dragging my feet
With my downcast eyes and heavy heart,
I came across an entwined couple

As I was sluggishly pacing the streets,
A vehicle roared proudly, beaming its light
On my aching skin, I felt my pupils constrict
And my heart, held by a pain I cannot depict

In a clearer picture, the world seems dimly lit.
I careened on a pharmacy counter,
With my system hungry for a potent substance
Which would cast me in a never-ending somnolence –

How many more days should spin into
Infinite morose nights where I lose my place
Over my bed as narrow as an alley
Time moves so slow in lieu of your absence.

A lady in pure whites came rushing towards me
Offering a calm amity impregnated in pills and medication
And I said coldly, “How much would 2 pills cost?
She retaliated, “You can never bring back what is lost.”

My eyes welling up with unimportant tears
That would somehow renew me, only in a brief span
And that disheartened me more than you’ll ever know
Because time has left me, cold and withering

I gazed at the pills that I have purchased
From the unlikely lady in clarity beyond a pharmacy counter;
Wishfully thinking that this might take me seriously
I let out a trembling sigh that divided half of my body.

And then a man soon approached me,
Waving at me enthusiastically as if enthused by my appearance:
A stooping gait and a stuporous saunter
What I am yearning for has been left in the somber.

He inquired, “Where are you heading? ”
I tried to say, “Anywhere, where I do not know anyone.”
Yet as much as the world vastly recedes,
It seemed so narrow at the moment, with an impeded speed.

I directed him towards my home,
And I thought of my room, and the rancor of it
Its moist ambiance rendered by tears
Of a man whose only friends are bereavement and fear.

I got out of the vehicle,
And gave the man his rightful payment
I gasped for air spewing from the broken pavement;
My mother welcomed me with a grimace.

“Your heart, melding now? ” mother pried
I am sorry darling mother, I have tried
Hard enough that I deserve a soothing repose,
Only to find out that in years, I have decomposed.

I remember you.
Untainted uniform of white,
Your sweet, tender face with sophisticated curves
I know all of them intricately, I have memorized them.

I want you, for I want you more than enough,
I am lost in a voided enamoring, I prayed to my God
Down on my knees with ribbons of bruises,
And he spoke to me sternly, “One wins, one loses.”