Undying Love Poem by Andrew D Robertson

Undying Love

Rating: 4.5


As I looked upon her, the hourglass tipped
And I knew my time was running out.
I lay there, thinking of all the things I could've said,
Somehow, missing the one thing I wished to say.
And as I slipped away into the ever-growing darkness,
I screamed those words I longed to say
Knowing they would never leave my mouth.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Richard D. Remler 27 April 2010

slipped into the darkness screaming words that never left your mouth. Ouch. I'd have ended up with a limp. Were you standing or laying? A little confused here. An interesting read though. Could probably use a rewrite, but so could everything I've ever scribbled down on a sheet of paper. Thanks for sharing. As always, Keep Writing.

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Andrew D Robertson

Andrew D Robertson

Orange, California
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