Unfinished Leaving Poem by Desiree Whitamore

so its been a good 19 months.
there were so many things saved
but i've looked all around
and i guess it ends today.

nobody needs a person like me
as an influence on their life
you'll be better off without me
without me you'll be fine.

as for the dad we share,
i'm sorry to say its your turn
heres to the next 18 years
hoping he might learn

i think you need an explaination
as to what i'm doing gone,
turns out i probably won't know
since we didn't have that long.

i know i made the decision
to run away from pain
i know you'll never understand
why things just can't stay the same.

you're my little brother
and i'll always be there for you
i'll come running in an instant
i'll be your rescuer if you want me to

but this place can be toxic
like a poison i've breathed all my life
and being here straight gives you nothing
and now i've stepped over the line.

and now i know i won't ever act
on the wishful thinking i do
and that hurts me more than you know
it hurts more than the thought of not seeing you

but our dad, he doesn't care
about me, at least
he's judgemental and hypocritical
and i guess you know what i mean

so i guess i've changed my mind
do you know you messed it all up
i was perfectly fine with running
and now you've made leaving tough