Desiree Whitamore

Pimples, growth, and weight,
emotions, pitch, the rules change.
suddenly emotional and not understanding why,
suddenly indestructible, and getting into fights.
...

i know now that i hate you
for everything you've done
i'm moving past appreciation
because you're forcing me to run
...

The razor blade is sharp, but oh, it feels so good. The blood, the pain, not stopping if we could. the shiny metal is now colored with red, we hear what you are saying, but can't remember what you've said. we're addicted to the pain, and feeling as if nothing's there. we have to keep it secret, we know that you won't care.
but what can you really do? yell at us for being scared? How can you help? knock us down the stairs. maybe if we're gone, the world will be a better place, its the little things to sacrifice, things we're too afraid to change.
You say your here for our time of need, but to make us stop? in that we won't succeed. It's the high we get, from the feeling that no one cares, the stress from all your talks, meetings without us there. the interventions scary, now we know it hurts us worse. the thought we really could die, it makes us want to work. you've turned into an eagle, watching us like a hawk, waiting for that moment, we'd actually want to talk.
now that we've stopped its strange, you're really there for us. our hearts open up, and oh what a rush. we promise to get better, go back to our normal self. we stand up, take a bow, proud that we had help. we just want you to know, we love you too. anything. we're here, in whatever mood. you helped us save the life we almost lost. and now we're getting better,
...

i watched them find his vein
i couldn't face the change
the medicine in that shot
all was lost when he fought
...

slowly falling off my cliff of tears, i catch a twig and hold on.
not knowing how long the twig will last, i gather myself up, and start climbing.
as i climb i see my past, present, and future tumbling past me.
i'm close to the top now.
...

i'm falling towards my destiny
one hand covering my eyes
the ground is getting close now
a ground made up of lies.
...

i know time has flown by
and i know that you can't help it
but after all that i've been through
i know that i regret it.
...

im sitting down across from you
and when you don't think i see
you wipe away that lonely tear
and turn away from me.
...

'listen. don't love me. i'm not worth it. i won't change.'
he looked at her with weary eyes
trying to find out how she could handle the pain
when he told her his rehearsed lies.
...

I can see now how i should've known
I can see how you bit the truth back
I can see that you always knew
He would bend me until i cracked.
...

i thought about it all night.
and i concluded
i'm not fine.
i just need closure
...

hands are covering eyes
lips are being closed
they're questioning my mind
and there my saneness goes
...

she touched her belly and she never looked back
all she depended on were the clothes that she packed
no one could tell if she was scared or not
nobody knew what they thought.
...

and oh my god.
i think im falling
and hold me close
i dont feel like calling
...

You say no
we say yes
it's only an age thats seperating us
you tell us to do what you want
...

its not fair to him that
i just don't understand
why i can't be in love with both of you.
...

how can i tell you i love you
while i'm screaming for you to let go?
why don't you hear the terror
just waiting to quickly unfold?
...

screaming into my pillow
is my own meditation
and loving the way you smile
is my own dose of medication
...

wanna know what i think?
i think i just might hate you.
no really. i don't love you.
i really REALLY hate you.
...

I wish my heart could take it
and i was strong enough to break
and your hits could never sway me
and my feelings never changed
...