Untitled Poem by Brandi Pinon

It's been a long time the last I felt this desperately alone.

Starring blankly, searching the darkeness as if it could wield answers.

Flashes of hope arise then, like headlights from a passing car in the night, quckly vanish back into nothing.

I watch the sun rise to another day I will let pass without care.

Finding my contact with others dwindling near scarce if at all some days.

I prefer my solitude, or more so this is what I need them to believe as truth.

Even more so my truth I fight to keep inside with so much force it has exaughsted my will.

Whereas once I could mimic their smiles so as not to reflect my own turmoil within.

Has grown to be just another tiresome chore I no longer care to uphold.

My truth so I am fated is my tradagy.

The saddenss of it having been born of different mind and placed here before my time.

Traits I saw as extraordinary the rest saw as madness and cast me away to be forgotten.

So right that they did for I found such beauty in the shadows and broken spaces between.

I cursed them all as narrow minded fools who will spend their lives in search of a serenity they will never find, as I have found.

But it is true that ignorance is bliss.

Dispite my profound understanding of the world around me, is the knowledge that the same understanding will never be returned.

My truth is that the only company I will keep exist as unwanted invaders of my mind and their taunting whispers from within.

Vowing not to fall victim to halfwhited doctors and their mind numbing medications that in no way help the cause but ment to keep us placid and manageable.

Am I to let them inside my head as well?
Another entity to force opinions and destroy my individuality.

I've too much passion to let them kill my fire.

I built a kingdom inside my head where I escape to when psychosis arises.

Finding my solace in the comforts of my stereo and in my own manic writings.

Live I must with the consequences of my choice, chaos follows me everywhere I go in spite of my peaceful demeanor.

Once again backed into a corner but too stubborn to give in, I turn up my stereo to drown out the noise and offer a single digit obscenity.

Believe what you will of things that can be said of me but my truth is, that I stay true to me.


by dizzyb