Voices - 6 Poem by Windsor Guadalupe Jr

As I took a cold bath,
The icy water swathed me
Like a tempestuous deluge.
I patted myself dry,
But I am drenched with filth.
I splurged perfume all over my body
To induce a pleasurable aroma
But I reek of desolation all over.
Take good care of yourself.
My mom had said,
And it was my habit
To kiss her wrinkled cheek
Whenever I left for school
Still she looked very beautiful
And she looked very content
And I was as jealous as a saint
Cast into the sea.

The dogs were aimlessly meandering around the streets,
And the populace was one with the nuisances
And I felt as if I am castigated because
I fail to participate everyday.
I glanced at the people, but all I see
Are dark-grey shades of pallid structures.
Some acquaintances smiled at me,
And I smiled at them too, for the sake of courtesy.
I ride public vehicles to school,
And I ride them impassively.
My mind wanders off completely
As the petals of dawn lurch pensively.
The people were talking about certain things
That do not make any sense:
Girls, boys, dogs, perfumes
Cars, clothes, actors and actresses –
And I abhor them so much,
For they do not know the real
Scarring things in life.
I shrugged them of with a dissocialized grin
And I continued to wander off, creating scenes
Inside my troubled mind.
I started conversations in my head alone:
Are you lost?
Yes, very much.
Here, take my hand.
If I take you,
Would you repress about the past?
Would you oppress me about the future?
And would you abandon me in the present?
I am very different.
Different is another word I hate,
It renders me desolate
And submissive –
To take you, is submission
And to exploit myself.
I will not leave. I am not shaken by disdain,
By anguish and anger.
I am shaken by disdain,
Anguish and anger.
If you’re going to save me,
Do so now.
I feel like going any minute.
And the vehicles blared,
And the moments had passed.
I was sedated really, really fast.
It was ephemeral,
But it was worth it.