Was It My Fault? Poem by Krishan kumar

I still remember
When I entered your womb
So tiny I was, like a seed.
Crafted of your flesh
I was growing bit by bit.
I often gave you cramps and morning sickness,
But you still took care of me, mommy.
I played inside you
And kicked you sometimes,
But you still adored me
And gave me comfort.
I could sense your love for me.
I cherished inside your womb,
And felt safe and secure there.
That was a world of mine,
Full of happiness and love so divine.

You fed me the healthiest food,
Sang songs of happiness,
So that rest of me could grow soon.
I wished to grow sooner too, mommy,
So that I could play in your lap,
Kiss you, hug you and make
You and daddy happy.
Our bond was strongest.
I really loved you, mommy
Since our very first day together.
I was blooming inside you
Like a gentle flower.

But one day I heard
Some indistinct chattering outside.
It was daddy, perhaps,
Groaning, growling and shouting,
"I want a boy, not a girl."
It was the first time I sensed
You were hurt, mommy.
Your anxiety made me nervous.
I saw you shedding
Helpless drops of tears.
I felt I was unwanted by others,
As I was a girl.
But I wasn't afraid, mommy.
I knew you were there to protect me.
You felt lost, you felt scared.
Sometimes you were all alone.
But still you fought for me,
Struggled to keep me alive
And make me see the world outside.
Like a shield of iron
You stood to protect my tender soul.

Finally the day arrived
When I was born.
But none seemed to be happy,
For I was a girl.
They wanted a boy,
Who is treated as diamond and pearl.
The world inside you was safer,
Safer than this cruel outside world, mommy.
Eventually, They decided
To damage my pure soul
And put my life to an end.

But why? Why did I have to die?
Why was I being murdered?
What were they punishing me for?
What wrong I did?
Was it my fault
That I was a girl, not a boy?
Did I choose to be a girl?
Did I choose to be born
In your family?
Did I choose to be born
In this ruthless world?
I'd go to Heaven
And ask the God,
Was it really my fault
That I was a girl, not a boy?