Wayne Rooney Poem Poem by Martin Ward

Wayne Rooney Poem

My wife is in despair
and thinks that I'm a loony:
I just keep shouting
'Rooney, Rooney, Rooney'.

Will she be angry
if I get a tattoo
with DCFC on it
and a picture of 'The Roo? '

Is it a mid-life crisis
making me so keen
on Wayne's lovely wife,
the sensible Colleen?

If grandchildren come along,
would their names fit
or would it be wrong
to name them Cass, Kai, Klay and Kit?

I could show Wayne around Derby;
it would be such a lark:
Birds cakes, Bennetts
and Markeaton Park.

So who needs celebs
like George Clooney,
When Derby County
have Wayne Rooney?

My better-half
should understand
that Wayne will lead us
to the promised land!