What Did I Do? Poem by Tessa Monaghan

you have me here
wondering
alone
pondering
what did i
every do
to deserve all this
the dishonesty
the betrayal.
all i try to do
is be loyal
and hondest
be the best i can
be
for you
and yous till
insist on lies
insist on hurting me.

you make me wonder
you make me ponder
what is wrong with me
that causes multipul guys
to the same thing
with the final out come
of pain
low self-esteam
and thoughtsof imperfection
of flasws.
past experiences
that make it
impossible
to think
possitive of myself
in every aspect.

you knowing my past
continue
all the repeats
my live is on
repeat
all the pain
al the nagative
its on repeat
like an old epesoid
that you get tired
of seeing
tired of experiencing
tired of it
yet
you still hope
that this one
will be bifferent
something will ghance
but it doesnt
it stays the same
and all hope is gone.

you have me wondering
and pondering
what did i ever do
to deserve all this
dishonesty
betrainl
disrespect.