What Do I Hate Of Myself And Love Poem by Jorge Arturo Valles Anguiano

I hate that I still remember that hard times,
where I suffered,
where I failed,
where I couldn't defend myself,
from all those demons,
from all those people,
from all that pain.

When I used to cry
to be sad
when I didn't want to go,
terrified,
scared.

I tried to suicide,
but that's not the answer,
I decided to be brave,
I decided to not become a coward,
I decided to be brave by keeping all those memories,
I decided to not become a coward by suicidng,
a constant fight,
a war,
between my memories and myself
a war that ends when I die.

Being brave is something
that not everyone would do,
keep living after all that suffer,
is one of the bravest things you can do.

And because of this
I'm right here
writing poems,
I'm living without crying of sadness,
I'm crying of happy,
those memories are the reasons
of why I become stronger each day.